Puppy saves the day

Justify my love

I was recently invited to give a talk at a conference in Geneva. My research topics cover a staggering breadth of topics, ranging from sociology and biology to theoretical physics, astrology, and history, so it was hardly a surprise that I was asked to speak. The invitation was for me to discuss my recent findings regarding the true, goopy nature of the universe. I decided instead to present on an as-yet unpublished topic: an entirely new formulation of economic theory revolving around myself.

I hate travelling alone, so I asked this small plastic toy if it wanted to go with me. I'm really glad Puppy came with me because the Swiss are a fierce people. They rejected the central thesis of my work - this has never happened before - and were jeering at me before I even finished the introduction, entitled: "A Humble Response to the Supplicants." I don't think they even took the time to really understand what I was saying.

I was really upset after the conference. Even though I could have easily smothered their dissent with a few well-placed noodly appendages, what I truly wanted was their acceptance and friendship. And no amount of smothering people with goo can gain  you that.

 Luckily Puppy was there to see me through that dark time. Puppy likes it when I extrude myself onto him, as you can see here in this photo. Thanks, Puppy, for making everything ok again!